


Overdose

by lisaong



Category: EXO (Band), Z.Tao (Musician)
Genre: A/B/O Elements, AU, M/M, like a tiny tiny bit, mentions of other exo members - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 03:37:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10631349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lisaong/pseuds/lisaong
Summary: This sickness called love is an addiction and Tao's probably overdosed.





	

**Author's Note:**

> **This is written by my friend and posted with her permission.**
> 
>  
> 
> It was also supposed to be about 250 words answering a prompt except she really liked the concept and it just kept growing. 
> 
> For the A/B/O elements, it's mostly just the bonding and scent communication components she incorporated and even that isn't a huge thing. 
> 
> She's asked me to keep the song lyrics in Chinese, but I'll post a rough translation at the end.

Someone call the doctor  
快绑住我 对我说  
爱情这病 上瘾 overdose  
\-------------------------  
Curiosity is what damns him; he's a new trainee in a foreign country, wide eyed and confused when they first meet. The boy is younger than he is and looks like one of those antique porcelain dolls, all white skin and delicate features, face set and unmoving like marble. Tao decides immediately that he wants to see that expression crack. He learns the boy’s name is Oh Sehun during their language classes when their tutors decide pairing them together would speed up the learning process. Which Tao would appreciate more if it weren’t so frustrating with both of them trying to twist their tongues around foreign vowels into some form of communication. 

It does mean they become friends sometime between the clumsy words and games of charades, eventually seeking each other’s company intentionally, sneaking around breaking rules together for the sake of the adrenalin rush. That’s probably their first mistake because they’re young and rash (spoilt if Tao’s feeling really honest) and right in the age range where hormones were spiking. It’s just for fun at first and a quick way to relieve some stress. Tao doesn’t realize how fast they slide until it’s too late and phantom pain is already gnawing at him, body craving the other’s presence. The feeling only gets stronger after he gets bitten, a ring of teeth marks imprinted on his body and soul. It’s not a want any longer, the desire to feel long fingers gliding over his skin, Sehun’s body heat soaking through the layers of clothing separating them, knowing eyes on him, dark and promising, it’s a need.

From the desperate way Sehun takes and takes after any extended separation, knuckles bone white as fingertips dig into skin and muscle, pressing so hard into Tao’s body, the Chinese boy’s chest hiccups with the strain to breath, he feels the same. They’re both hooked, dangerously so.

It’s what brings Tao back to Korea. There’s the lawsuit he has to settle of course; it hangs over his head like a grim shadow he cannot shake, but if he’s being honest with himself, that isn’t the primary reason he’s here. He came for Sehun. Just weeks after returning to China from America, Tao finds that he is physically incapable of dealing with the stress of a solo career while simultaneously trying to cope with severe withdrawal. His ex-bandmate must be in a similar situation because they reach an agreement even with a stilted conversation comprised of terse words and unsaid accusations. Sehun is still angry with him when they meet, but it doesn’t stop them from crashing together in a dance so familiar, Tao’s body reacts even before the other boy touches him. From the shift of pheromones in the air, Sehun knows exactly the effect he has. Nails dig into Tao’s hips, dragging up his sides, just shy of tearing skin. The flicker of pain makes him arch, baring his neck. A hot tongue glides over his concealed mating mark, smoothing over the healed grooves and elicits a full body shudder, breath escaping in a choked off groan. The Korean male chuckles darkly and Tao feels the teasing scrape of teeth; his hands spasm where they’re tangled in the thick cotton of Sehun’s jacket.

He emerges from that encounter with bites adorning his collarbones and bruises mottling his skin, the realization that they’re both going to come back for more flashing like a warning sign at the back of his mind.

Tao’s right of course, they’ve tried and failed to break away too many times already to have this time turn out any differently. One night turns into the week he’s in Korea cleaning up his legal mess, a week turns into an unspoken agreement that they’ll meet up whenever they can. Sehun’s anger eases suddenly the fifth time they fall into bed together and Tao has enough time to wonder if it was actual anger to begin with or a side effect of withdrawal before he loses all capacity for higher thought. There’s a sadistic curve curling Sehun’s scarlet lips upward as he brings Tao’s body to the edge and keeps him there, teetering on a knifepoint. Tao can’t remember if he begs or curses the younger male as his body is played like a well-tuned instrument. He collapses into sleep afterwards, the feeling of long fingers dragging through his hair following him into unconsciousness. It actually isn’t very different from the times back when he was a part of EXO except now, the stakes are higher. There’s the added layer of SM legalities to deal with on top of the potential public fallout which is still boiling over from his sudden departure.

Even knowing this, the damage it can do to both their careers. The damage it can do to EXO which has already weathered through so much, they can’t stop. They’re both the moths and the flames at the same time; Tao can see the knowledge that they’ll destroy each other reflected in Sehun’s dark eyes when he strokes back sweat soaked strands of hair in the quiet moments they’re both conscious and coherent.

He goes back to China with the mating bite an angry bruised purple color hidden under the high collar of his jacket and feels the phantom ache from Sehun’s absence renew itself in his chest. That night, Tao stares at himself in the mirror and traces the wound decorating the skin where his shoulder met his neck; the resulting echo of pleasure that shoots up his spine is enough to force out a hiss. Marks from last night are still fresh, blooming a purple-red color that stands out starkly against the tan of his skin. Tao touches concealer over one of the bruises absentmindedly, wondering how his own marks look like now against the milk-white background of Sehun’s body. The hollow ache in his chest expands at the thought and he wrenches his eyes back to studying himself, studiously noting all the places he’ll need to touch up before the photoshoot tomorrow. By this time, picking out the colors of the make-up needed is second nature and application will only take a couple of minutes. Tao still decides to apply it now in case he’s too tired the following morning to remember. If it needs a touch up, he’ll do a touch up later. Thankfully, Sehun is, and always has been, careful about the placement of his love bites and Tao doesn’t think it’ll be a problem even if some of the concealer smears.

A clothing manager accidentally presses against a string of bruises on his ribs the next morning and Tao has never been so thankful that professional code demands idols and surrounding personnel shower with scent neutralizers when working.

Sehun calls him his third day back in China when he’s on break between photo shoot locations and Tao feels every nerve in his body flare in response to the familiar voice. The past week in Korea has satisfied the cravings enough for them to hold a normal conversation though and after a few sentences, the older boy has to stop himself from laughing at the complaints his ex-bandmate has. They talk about everything and nothing, easy friendship thrumming warmly like a second heartbeat underneath Tao’s skin. Sehun tells him before they hang up that EXO will be passing through Beijing as part of their comeback tour; Tao wonders if it's an indication of how screwed he is when his mind immediately shifts his schedule around in response. Chen Chen tells him later, after the photographer has gotten pictures of him from every angle in every set of clothing they've planned, that Tao had returned with the expression of a starved wolf. Tao can tell that his childhood friend is suspicious and thanks every deity he knows that Chen Chen isn't the type of person to pry. He resolves to be even more careful in the coming weeks between now and Beijing.

Half a month before he can see Sehun in person again, Tao wakes up in the middle of the night with fire lancing his veins and an emptiness in his body. He takes the strongest sleep medication he can find, dropping back into sweat soaked sheets and burying his head into the pillow, praying the drugs will knock him out quickly. Unconsciousness claims him in waves, timed in sync with the dull pulses of want radiating from his core. He takes three showers the following day, one in the morning, one at noon and one at night. It keeps the sensory feedback loop contained but does nothing for the metaphorical black hole eating away at the rest of him.

Beijing comes; the days leading up spiral by in a haze of shows and interviews that takes every ounce of concentration Tao possesses to finish. He’s still dazed as he vanishes into the crowd of screaming fans and feels nauseous when the world snaps into hyper realistic clarity as EXO walks on stage. Sehun’s smirk has a predatory tinge at the end of the show, and Tao feels his stomach tighten in dark anticipation. The crowds do nothing to help, aroused pheromones a sweet, thick taste lingering in the air; his own body responds to the sensory input until Tao feels over sensitive and overstimulated, lightheaded with desire that isn't his layered over his own carnal needs. Sound waves thrum through him, a vibrating harmony synchronizing with his too quick heartbeat. 

He sneaks backstage after the show and has the satisfaction of seeing Sehun bare his teeth in a rare display of frustration when he catches Tao’s scent in the middle of a team debriefing. The EXO maknae finds him on the outskirts of the rooms, right where there’s a security blind spot and nips sharply at his mouth, leaving it bleeding. They stay pressed against the cold wall afterwards, Sehun’s face tucked into Tao's neck, the edge of desire dulled enough for coherent thought. The peaceful moment is nice and Sehun hums contentedly as Tao strokes down the long column of his spine. They can't stay like this here though; it's too public, too risky and Tao leaves after a few minutes with blood that's turned to molten lava in his veins and a whispered address echoing like gongs in his ears.

The first thing Sehun does later that night when he has Tao pressed up against the fake wood of a hotel door is yank the collar of Tao’s shirt off center, fitting his teeth lightly into the healed indentations of the bite. He still smells like adrenalin and sex, they always do after a successful show, and Tao whines in response, hooking a leg around the younger male’s waist to drag them closer together. One hand slides up Sehun’s back, feeling the shift of muscle and bone underneath a layer of clothing while the other comes to rest on his neck, fingers playing with the soft hair there. Sehun hums against his throat, hands sliding underneath his shirt and jerking it up over his head in one practiced motion. Warm breath fans across the over sensitive skin behind his ear as fingers scrape down his ribs and Tao bites his lips together to hold back a moan, his own hands tightening with bruising force on Sehun’s shoulders.

Tao leaves before Sehun wakes to catch his flight back and finds the rings of bruises in the shape of gracile fingers printed around his wrists like bracelets when he's using the restroom in the airport. He stares at them for a long time on the airplane, tracing the smudged line between purple and tan before pulling his sleeves down over the marks.

One night isn't enough for either of them, but Tao's good at ignoring his body's needs as all idols are. The Kpop industry doesn’t pull any punches when it comes to molding its trainees into world class stars, Tao would know. It’s how he managed to function when Sehun wasn’t with him out of necessity. Except the pendulum swings both ways; the longer they go without seeing each other, the higher the chance they’ll give into pure animalistic instinct when they meet again. Staying away is impossible when temptation inevitably ends up in close proximity again as EXO reunites and the resulting fallout from the prolonged suppression isn’t pretty. The first time it’d happened, back in 2012 when EXO was barely a dent in the industry, they hadn’t had any control over themselves. Sehun’s back had been torn to bloody shreds, shoulders and chest sporting bites so vicious, they didn’t finish healing for weeks. Tao was probably worse; he’d run a low grade fever for four days straight, body bruised to all hell. The make-up artists had a field day trying to make them presentable. Their respective managers were furious. Kris ge and Suho hyung couldn’t decide who they wanted to kill first. They barely avoided being found out by the higher ups in SM, their hyungs nearly grey with worry by the end of the healing period. 

After that incident, all of EXO was monitored closely and Tao remembers feeling terrible for being the cause of the stilted, awkward tension in the air between the members. They were all so used to being physically affectionate with each other, but they couldn't be in fear of raising even more suspicion and causing a scandal. All the members danced around each other like dust motes, so painfully conscious of themselves, it hurt to watch. He and Sehun avoided each other studiously, aware of how dangerous it would be to get too close. But their managers can't watch forever and they're not used to depriving themselves of something they want. EXO leaves Korea on tour as a group of twelve and they fall back together after the second show, all but drunk off of their success as a group. This time, they’re careful, cognizant of when they needed to ease up; then Sehun’s teeth puncture the mating gland on Tao’s shoulder and everything spirals downward from there.

Somehow the rest of EXO was kept in the dark on the matter that their maknaes have managed to basically marry each other. A feat made even more impressive by the fact that Tao continued to shower with everyone.

His schedule doesn’t afford time for another excursion like Beijing. Tao is considering the prospect of using an over the counter drug to help with his wondering concentration- and isn't that another slippery slope down to hell- when EXO’s tour lands them in Nanjing on the day Tao comes to the immediate vicinity. They’re in the same hotel by coincidence and Sehun catches him stepping out of the elevator just past midnight. Tao finds himself grabbed and pushed against the wall, the other boy a line of heat plastered against him so tightly, it’s a struggle to breathe. He gasps and the pressure eases a fraction. Sehun noses along his jawline, fingers skimming possessively over warm skin and hums at the goosebumps that trail behind his fingertips. 

Tao is reminded that they're in a very public area when voices come down the hallway and he bites at Sehun’s mouth in panicked irritation as he feels his shirt sliding up past his ribs. Sehun huffs but backs off, demanding to know where his room is. How they get to the room is a mystery and then Tao’s too occupied trying to stay conscious to care. Darkness claims him sometime around four in the morning and he falls asleep on the floor with Sehun’s hand cradling his head, thumb rubbing circles on his throat. A couple hours later, he startles awake to the sight of a dark smirk with his wrists pinned above him and legs hooked over broad shoulders. He spends another hour in a haze of delirious pleasure, craving more even as his abused body shrieks in pain. Sehun gets up afterwards with a gentle nip to his fingertips, dragging the sheets off the bed to cover him and leaves before the rest of EXO can wonder where he’s gone. Tao falls back asleep on the floor.

Sehun nearly faints on stage and Tao watches a YouTube video days later with his heart in his throat, worry tying his stomach into nauseous knots. He’ll be the first to admit this arrangement is destructive in nature, but they don’t have a better alternative. Or the self-control to stop.

A few weeks later, he begins to feel sick. Between his hectic schedule and his general attitude towards his own health though, Tao ignores it for the most part. When he keeps pushing himself, it accumulates into a high fever that worries his costars enough to land him in the hospital even though they’re filming scenes for a movie in the middle of nowhere. His fans react to the news almost immediately, asking that he take care of himself and not for the first time, Tao marvels at the amount of warmth he receives from them. Still, he has too much on his plate for an actual break and he’s too proud to drop any of the projects he’s started. It's only when the sickness becomes something he cannot shake that Tao begins to wonder if he should be careful. 

His body makes the decision for him; Tao is walking through the airport when the world goes black and he collapses to the horror of everyone present. He wakes up with an IV taped to his hand, several missed calls lighting up his phone. His mother picks up on the first ring and the moment she is certain Tao’s not in any danger, he gets a lecture on being more mindful of his health; his father adds his own thoughts when his mother runs out of things to say. Sehun calls the moment he finishes reassuring his parents and demands to know what he's doing to himself. The bond hums and snaps anxiously when Tao asks for clarification and the Korean idol explains he'd felt Tao's consciousness dwindle and vanish. That should have caused an alarm to go off in his head but Tao’s too busy scrambling for a plausible explanation to stop and think about the implications of the statement. He eventually settles on exhaustion as the reason; from the disbelieving snort he receives, Sehun is not convinced. Fortunately, someone calls the younger male away before he can pry farther. The moment the call ends, Tao presses his palms to his eyes; instinct tells him there’s a connection between his deteriorating health and Sehun, but he can’t figure out what it is.

Then Chen Chen comes in, eyes fixed stubbornly on the floor; Tao is forming an inquiry when the signed question asking if he’s bonded catches him off guard. All the idol can do is stare as his friend goes on to explain in a flurry of gestures that the symptoms he’s been exhibiting are nearly identical to that of bond shock. Tao is frozen, mind whirling as the pieces fall into place. He vaguely registers Chen Chen patting his shoulder and stepping out as his vision tunnels. The mating mark is a fever hot point, burning dangerously and for the first time, Tao notices there's an additional consciousness at the back of his mind, one that feels suspiciously like Sehun.

Fuck.

He's heard stories before, about how newly bonded pairs sometimes died if they were separated too soon after the bonding, something about disturbing the adjusting hormone levels that causes symptoms similar to neurogenic shock. The thing is, he’s had Sehun’s bite for a few years now and there have been no side effects that extreme. Tao would think if the shock was going to hit, it would have hit in 2013 when EXO had separated back into the K and M subgroups for promotional purposes. Both the mark and the bond were still fresh enough for the risk of bond shock to be a threat and they’d parted that morning shaking with nerves. But nothing had happened. In fact, the bond itself was not hypersensitive like this until now, normally just a vague hum of white noise backing the loud sounds of his daily life. Tao thinks he would have noticed if there was another person’s experiences filtering to him this entire time.

Trying to reconcile the two facts with the idea of bond shock makes his head hurt and Tao turns to Baidu for answers. Most of the popular hits are not helpful, but then he finds shock listed under potential complications arising from a binge-starvation cycle much like what he and Sehun have. Unlike the standard cases of bond shock, where both partners are affected, the complication usually only affects one side and the distribution is random with no satisfactory scientific explanation as to why. There is a warning in the article that frequent travelers and pairs working in different countries were at higher risk mainly because their circumstances were not ideal for steady contact. Prescription drugs are a potential fix but that would require he see a specialist and have his hormonal levels analyzed for correct dosage. Tao closes the window and slumps back into the bed.

Fuck.

His health continues to deteriorate. Eventually, he gets used to waking up in the morning with a headache that makes him want to claw his eyes out. Work makes him forget about the hunger burning up his body but keeping his hands steady becomes harder and harder as the days go by until Tao is reluctant to hold anything in fear of dropping it. His coworkers eye him with worry but it’s his manager that finally insists Tao needs to see a doctor when he comes into the music studio to see his employer curled up into a ball on the floor, breathing irregular and clipped, the scent of pain hanging in the air. Tao refuses the suggestion; if he goes and has his symptoms confirmed as bond shock, the doctor will send him to a specialist which would be fine in any other case except bond specialists are just that: they only receive bonded or bonding patients, meaning it’ll be a red flag the size of China that he’s involved with someone seriously enough for a bond to form. 

If that is not just a breeding ground for celebrity news, then Tao is a duck. 

The man argues, but Tao refuses to budge on the topic; he’ll be damned if he gives people more fuel to smear his friends’ names, both old and new, on the Internet because of something like this. Besides, if Sehun hears (and he will hear, Tao is too high profile for news like this to go unnoticed) that it’s serious enough to warrant medical intervention, he’s going to worry and Tao knows he does not have the time to spare for worry, not when EXO is in the middle of touring. As it is, their bond has been all but vibrating with unease since the day he fainted which means Sehun already has some indication that all is not well on Tao’s end.

The following month sees the wrapping up of the last scenes for the movie and Tao flies to Korea to try and solve some legal complications that have risen up. He begins to run a fever the day after he arrives, head hurting bad enough he can’t see straight, and concedes to his agent’s suggestion to stay in the hotel to rest, penning out lyrics in his newly acquired free time. Sehun calls him in the middle of the night, sounding like he’s between flights, voice thin with exhaustion and concern. Tao is saved from answering when the younger boy falls asleep over the phone.

Insomnia sets in after a few days of fever and Tao knows something has to give. It does at the worst time possible; he loses consciousness in the middle of a negotiation and doesn’t wake up again until several days later. 

Awareness comes slowly; he registers the hard plastic of an oxygen mask first, then the beeps of various machines in the room and concludes he’s in the hospital. A familiar scent lingers in the air, soothing his frayed nerves and Tao considers simply falling back asleep. But then someone presses a gentle kiss to his forehead murmuring a request for him to wake up and his curiosity is piqued, slowly tearing through the shroud of unconsciousness wrapping itself about his mind. The bond jumps like a live wire, crackling with a combination of relief and anger when his eyelids flutter and Tao connects the dots instantly. Sehun is here. He jerks in surprise, eyes snapping open and immediately tries to sit up; Sehun mumbles something that sounds like a curse, shoving him back down. His pulse jumps, causing an alarm to go off and his parents are suddenly there, eyes wide. A nurse comes in minutes later, she checks his IV and the monitor he’s hooked to before turning and requesting that only one guest come in at a time. His father and Sehun step out, leaving him alone with his mother. She tries to say something, swallows, and slumps into the chair next to his bedside, catching one of his hands between her own. Tao hates himself a little bit for the tears in his mother’s eyes.

“You need to slow down,” her hands tighten even more around his larger one, “your father didn’t ask you to leave EXO to watch you work yourself to death.”

Relief sweeps through him first. They don’t know. The doctors didn’t tell them. It’s natural that they assume this is because he’s overworked himself again. As soon as the thought comes, it’s banished with guilt when he sees how wrung out his mother looks. Tao tries to nod reassuringly and receives an exasperated sigh. He opens his mouth in indignation then closes it again; both of them know he won’t slow down. Not for long anyway. It’s in his nature to keep pushing himself, always reaching for the next goal. Light fingers smooth over his cheek, stroking back the strands of hair sticking to his forehead. His mother smiles, pride and resignation in the slight curve of her lips, and gets up to call his father. The door has barely closed when his father begins scolding him, which to be fair, he deserves after scaring his parents so badly. Tao tries to stay awake because he owes his father that much at least, but exhaustion starts to slowly blanket his mind and keeping his eyes open is suddenly very difficult; his father must sense this because the talking stops and Tao feels sheets being pulled up more securely around him. He tumbles into darkness to the feeling of warm hands petting his head affectionately.

Sehun leaves during the time he’s asleep, and Tao would feel more disappointed except it ends up being a good thing because the doctor comes in to talk to him as a nurse changes out his IV. His parents might need a translator (namely him and he can buffer) but Sehun does not and Tao really didn’t know he was that sick. The doctor leaves with a promise to bring a specialist later; Tao falls back asleep. 

When he wakes up again, it’s light outside and his parents aren’t there but Sehun is back. With Lay. And Suho. And… okay, he can see all of EXO hanging around the room. Someone somewhere in SM must be having an aneurysm right now and Tao tries to sit up to greet his hyungs because that’s the least they deserve for defying the company like this. He gets two pairs of hands pushing him back down and the rest of EXO scolding him for his effort. Sehun scoffs at his pout, dropping into the seat at his bedside. Kai and D.O. settle on his other side as Tao messes with the remote next to the bed, raising it so he isn’t staring at everyone lying on his back. Now that it’s clear he won’t be doing anything stupid, everyone looks around awkwardly, unsure of how to break the tension that’s suddenly tangible. Tao chews on his bottom lip as he racks him brain for something to say, wriggling unconsciously to get into a more comfortable position. The movement shifts the hospital gown and Lay frowns immediately, commenting on how thin he is which leads to Suho asking if he’s been eating properly. Tao makes an offended face at them. Baekhyun makes a face right back at him from where he’s sitting on Chanyeol’s lap, Xiumin leaning against them. Laughter bubbles out of Chen and the ice breaks just like that. The room comes alive with a tangled mess of concern and teasing insults; they fall back into old dynamics so easily, it’s like Tao never left them. Kai actually ends up in the bed with him at one point, much to Sehun’s displeasure and Tao’s amusement. They talk until all of EXO’s phones are buzzing nonstop and they have to leave before someone at SM calls the police looking for them. Their presence warms Tao to his core though and that stays with him long after the last member has left, door swinging shut behind them.

When the doctor comes in to talk to him again the next day, this time with a specialist in tow, both his parents have been called back to China for business which Tao is thankful for because even if neither understand Korean, an extra doctor is almost always indicative of a complication. And Tao knows he can’t flat out lie to their faces. They’re explaining the drugs they’ve used to artificially rebalance his hormones when Tao’s slammed with a wave of anger and guilt; it makes his breath hitch. He looks up to see Sehun glaring at him from the doorway and realizes that the younger male has likely heard most of the conversation. The specialist gives him a knowing look and finishes the rest of her explanation quickly. Sehun lunges across the room the moment they’re gone.

“Why didn’t you tell me this was killing you?” he snarls, leaning over Tao. The air smells of anger and confusion.

“What would you have done?” Tao retorts. Sehun growls but doesn’t answer. After a few minutes of staring each other down, he deflates, head coming to rest on Tao’s chest. They end up falling asleep like that.

When Tao is released, the first thing he does after returning to his hotel room is call his legal team. His lawyer answers all his questions thoroughly but with a tone that strongly implies he should rest for another couple of days. With nothing planned for the day and all but ordered to rest by his agent, Tao reads through the cards he’s received from worried fans. He cries. His mother calls just as he’s finishing the last of the well wishes to remind him to eat. Lay texts him something similar and he snorts, vaguely amused at how closely timed the two reminders were. With nothing else to do, Tao considers going to a restaurant, but a glance out the window tells him the streets are busy and he really doesn’t feel like fighting through a crowd. That settled, he orders take out and sits on the bed, flipping through TV channels to take up the time. 

Someone knocks on the door five minutes later and Tao frowns; it’s too soon to be his food and he doesn’t remember asking the front desk for anything. He goes to check anyway and finds Sehun standing there. How he found Tao is a mystery; how he keeps getting away from SM is an even bigger mystery but Tao refrains from asking when he lets the other male inside. They stare at each other for a long moment before Sehun reaches out tentatively. A hand gently slides down the bare skin of Tao’s arm, fingers tickling down past his elbow and tracking blue green veins to his wrist. Tao shivers. Even with the drugs running through his bloodstream keeping everything in check, the visceral reaction his body has is as intense as it ever was. Sehun swallows and the same hand brushes a light trail back up the length of the older boy’s body, skittering over his hipbone, across his stomach, pausing at his collarbones. Tao hums with content and steps closer, tilting his head and baring his neck to the other’s eyes. Fingertips loop imaginary shapes into skin before flattening over raised scar tissue of the bite and sliding to wrap around the back of his neck.

They stare at each other for another long moment and Tao leans forward, closing the distance between them. It’s soft and unhurried, everything they don’t have time for and cannot have; Sehun ends the kiss, tugging at Tao’s bottom lip with his teeth, but stays close enough that they’re still sharing air. Fingers dance back down his spine, slotting in the gaps between his ribs, tracing over the bumps of his vertebrae. Tao’s mouth goes dry at the careful touch, his own hands coming up, tracing the contours of the younger boy’s face. He documents the feeling of soft skin stretched over graceful cheekbones, committing it to memory before threading fingers into dark hair, pulling Sehun back in. 

They don’t quite kiss again; Tao feels Sehun stiffen slightly and stops when their noses bump, suddenly unsure and confused. It doesn’t last very long because Sehun catches him in a bone crushing hug, burying his face against Tao’s neck, cheek pressed against his thundering pulse. Relief, exhaustion, guilt and fear start pouring off of the younger boy in waves, desperation weaved throughout like a red thread. Tao feels warm tears smear onto his skin and startles, hands curling protectively around the other’s shoulders. Sehun’s breathing evens out after a few minutes of Tao whispering comfort into his hair but he only shifts to press a kiss onto the older boy’s shoulder before stilling again. 

The knock that echoes through the room jerks them back into reality and only then does Tao remember he ordered food. Sehun steps back, straightens Tao’s clothing and jerks his head towards the door, migrating deeper into the room to stay out of sight. His stomach growls as he receives the food, the smell reminding him of how hungry he is. From the way Sehun eyes the chicken from where he's sitting next to the window, he’s hungry as well. Tao grins and waves him over, grateful that he’d ordered extra. The two of them devour the box of chicken ravenously. They curl up on the bed afterwards and he tucks himself against Sehun's side, inhaling the familiar scent. It's quiet until Sehun sighs suddenly and rolls them over, settling between Tao's legs.

“This can't have a happy ending.” Sehun whispers against his neck.

“I know.” Tao murmurs then whines when his companion nips at a piercing, tugging at the jewelry gently.

“We need to stop.” the younger male presses their foreheads together, eyes glinting in the dark.

“We do.” Tao agrees.

They both know it is past too late for that.

\------------------------------

中你甜蜜的毒  
变成我活不下去的期待

**Author's Note:**

> Beginning:  
> Someone call the doctor  
> Tie me up quickly and tell me  
> This sickness called love is addictive, overdose
> 
> End:  
> I've swallowed your sweet poison  
> And it's become the reason I look forward to a short life


End file.
